sábado, 22 de dezembro de 2012

Adventures Through the Mirror House

A friend of mine recently told me one of the things he loves doing the most is dancing salsa with his own confusion. Its important to notice this is not a confused guy – on the other hand he is quite clear of thought. But the more I know, the more I realize I don't, and the surer of myself I am the more questions arise. I often dance with my demons, is this the same? I wonder why I don't quite as often dance with my angels. What is this feeling that we more easily face our demons than chill with our angels? Or do we just not recognize dancing with our angels as such? And quite curiously, won't an angel make us notice our demons, and a demon make us notice our angels? An angel can make you aware of your angels, just as a demon can make you aware of your demons, but won't an angel make you aware of your demons? When you see someone doing something where you clearly feel the other person is being the bigger person make you notice your demons? And won't that allow you to move on and become a stronger person?


Isn't it just a choice which one you dance with? To me this reminds me of Reggae. I've had the discussion on Bob Marley a few times – His incredibly positive message is great, but does it still dig into todays issues, or is it just a general positive message? If you constantly chill with your angels that will certainly make you live a more positive life, have a more positive outlook and attitude. And we are all perfect – if something as perfect even exists, so why would we need to dwell and dig out our demons? Certainly the power of love will overcome them.

But what really happens when we dig out our demons? Undoubtedly this is different for every and each one of us. But as I know myself the best, it is perhaps only fair that it is on my own experience that I reflect. What I realized? Most of my demons are old, weak and can barely hold their point of view nowadays. When they were born they were monstrous powerful beings, but most of them have lost their power over time. As I dig deep within and realize their existence they very quickly fade away for they realize they don't actually hold a hook on me. And as they clear away I feel freer, lighter and stronger. I also feel a bigger clarity in my thoughts, allowing me to look within with less interferences. Sometimes the simple act of accepting these demons is enough for them to go away. But why is it so? Some of these demons were just simply born because I thought that my actions or thoughts were not aligned with the general way of thinking and behaving, and so I carried around the guilt of being different. And so we come to a social paradox – being different can often lead to you being excluded, mocked, ignored, rejected. But being the same, is just too boring. Often I have said “I am not like everyone else and I don't want to be like everyone else!”, but at times that feeling of not belonging, of not being the same, of being different would start to take over and I would question myself if life wouldn't just be easier if I were exactly the same, seamlessly fitting in, being completely accepted and not questioning it myself. And we then bump into another ideal – We are all the same, we all have the same right, we all are the same animal, we all are the same soul, we all are one. We are all infinitely different and infinitely equal and as such, being any more of the same would be irrelevant, because you are not equal and not different, you are relative. You are acceptable – other not accepting you is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of those who are judging you. And the way you are reacting to them – that is the reflection of you. It becomes quite clear to me that life is nothing more but a reflection – as we endlessly reflect each other until you truly fall in love with your own reflection.

But if this is so, then what the the hell are we doing? Be the person you'd fall in love with. If, just like in a dream, we all are reflections of each other, then what are we living? Is life a regular dream, a nightmare, a lucid dream? Once we go past reflecting action begins. Change begins. We are playing in one very big mirror house. As you live, day by day, and you meet people who think alike, act alike – perhaps not in all aspects but in one or another, you are meeting a mirror of yourself. You are meeting a different angle of yourself; And as these conversations develop, you are meeting yourself as you see the way you act towards your reflection. Does this mean that we perhaps are not fully honest with ourselves? Does this mean we perhaps do not comprehend every bit of ourselves? Does this perhaps mean we are not completely accepting of ourselves? This could hardly cease to be true, because if it were, that would mean that we are absolutely happy with ourselves and the life we live. Which brings me to another topic – it is far easier to be hateful than loving. It is far easier to reject than to accept. It is far easier to ignore than to comprehend. Being negative is not effortful. It can be painful, but not effortful. Being positive on the other hand, takes a conscious effort to see the positive side of things in spite of the way we are feeling, it takes a conscious effort to realize that wether the person is right or wrong or if there is even a right or wrong side to pick that what this person needs is not judgement, or at times even advice, but to simply be understood. And taken a step further, as this person talks and attempts to explain her difficulties or just simply her situation on the way she is feeling – she herself might come to clear her thoughts and realize whatever it was that she needed to realize. Because as you listen to your mirror, the other person is talking to their mirror. How often have you thought “If only my mirror could talk back to me and make everything clear”? What if my mirror could just ask me the questions that I need to answer to feel good about my choices?

Nothing changes if you just stare at a reflection of yourself – As Dumbledore told Harry that there was no point in just staring at the mirror of wishes, because the mirror itself could not make these things come true to you. As such, what you want to achieve can not only be achieved within the mirror if they are to become real. Just the same that if you wish to live your dreams, you can not only dream them. This leads me to talk about a recent experience of mine – one that often enough repeats itself, becoming more intense at every time I live through it. When you meet someone who is similar to you, in terms of being, and you are therefore talking to what you'd consider a good reflection of yourself, the more you talk to this mirror, and the freer you feel talking to this mirror, the closer you are from not being inside the mirror house anymore. I had a feeling of being so close to breaking through the mirror house. This mirror house is nothing but a creation of our own, in which we see all aspects of ourselves reflected as we are lost within our own minds and lives. This mirror house reflects every aspect of yourself, never allowing you to forget who you believe you are. Who you were will in some aspect always be part of who you are, and this mirror house will always remind you of who you were because life is nothing but a reliving of your emotional memories, while you are still walking within your same old circles. And this mirror house, clearly exists, in a very simple way. Another person is not who you believe they are. They are who they are, and you see them as you believe them to be. And as such, to comprehend who this other person is, you use the reflections that you have previously created to be able to understand who this person is, while adding some new mirrors to the house to to accommodate for anything new this person might bring into your life. And every time you meet a new person you might also become aware of some mirrors that you had lost track of, in your mirror house. That moment of breaking through I couldn't explain it another other way except for this one: As I came closer and closer to my reflections, my reflection was not coming out of the mirror nor was I stepping into it, but I was coming to realize that I am my reflections and my reflections are me, and as I stepped into this knowledge I ceased to be lost inside the mirror house but I could actually see where I was going and head there, without being fooled by reflections. This is the moment I believe you are able to create real change. The moment you accept the mirror house that exists within you and are able to step beyond it. I wonder if I'd describe change as walking outside the mirror house, and coming back to it later – as these moments do not last forever. That moment where you get the feeling you are just about to create real change does not last forever, and so I believe that once the moment has past we return to the mirror house. I've returned to the mirror house. It is wider than before, but a mirror house all the same. But I can't describe it as having gone outside of the mirror house, gone for a walk and came back, as that would imply that you found the way out of the mirror house, that you essentially escaped yourself. It was not this. As Einstein said, you can not solve a problem at the same level of thinking it was created. Rather, I'd describe it as this: On a normal day, you'll walk through the mirror house observing the different reflections that face you and making decisions upon these. The moment of change was as if I were walking through the house and the mirrors were rearranging themselves towards me, as I was not living by reflection anymore, but by purely being. Having had long conversations about deep held beliefs and thoughts that reflect where I want to go in life and what I want to do, for that evening, I had created a mirror room that comprehended me as I am today. A round room of mirrors, where the reflection is clear, clean, fresh. And it is this creating of a round room of mirrors that makes it cease to be a reflection. The mirrors became portals. I could travel freely, no longer bounded and confused by illusions.  

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